The Ghosts of My Lai Essay Example for Free

The Ghosts of My Lai EssaySome cadences events in a persons life can have dramatic effects long by and by the incident is over. If the problems are serious enough, psychological and mental imbalances can occur. Such is the case with backside walk. His participation in the My Lai massacre in Vietnam never leaves his consciousness. It haunts him in the forms of dreams and affects his self perception and behavior. Ultimately, it casts upon him the suspicion of murder. Throughout the details of John and Kathys days at the cabin, Johns nights are troubled by dreams of his time in Vietnam. He dreams of shooting his trenchmate and of other amorphous yet frightening memories. His lack of sleep and the anxiety these dreams cause haunt him during the day as well. His mutterings of bug out Jesus are a concise manifestation of this problem. Other than the dreams, John still internalizes his persona as a sorcerer. From his childhood, John turned to magic to possess his problems disappear , or as he notes, where he could turn bad things into good things and just be happy (OBrien 66). His spawns taunts at his weight and his fathers alcoholism were made easier to bear by his ability to perform tricks.When he goes to Vietnam, he internalizes his role as the magician even more and is devoted the nickname Sorcerer by his platoon mates. However, when he cannot make all the death and destruction disappear, the doubts begin to creep in. He accidentally kills one of his own men, makes him disappear, and this everlastingly affects him through dreams. Later, in the My Lai massacre, he adopts the name Sorcerer himself, perhaps as a way to disengage himself from the murders he was committing and from his ultimate crimes. Once home, he continues this aim to control.He creeps around and spies on Kathy while she is at college, deriving a sordid feeling of power from this secrecy. He acknowledges that The trick then was to be vigilant. He would guard his advantage. The secrets wo uld remain secret the things hed seen, the things hes done. He would repair what he could, he would endure, he would go from twelvemonth to year without letting on that there were tricks (OBrien 46). It sounds as if John cannot separate his experience with death and fear in the war with his fear that his wife result somehow leave him. These feelings followed them throughout their lives, never letting up.Alcoholism also impeded upon their lives. He refuses psychiatric help. Infidelity and the ghosts of Vietnam eventually erupt to the surface, ruining Johns political career. He finds he has lost control of his life, and with the disappearance of his wife, of Kathy herself. At the end, he loses himself, leaving only speculation of what could have happened to his wife. The stress that Wade endured in Vietnam, particularly his role in the My Lai massacre, coupled with the dysfunction in his relationship with his father all led to a frightened but lordly husband in John Wade. The myste ry continues.